Today this thing happened to me that has only happened three times to me before.
The other occasions were:
1. My PhD Viva.
2. After a coach drove into the back of my car.
3. there was a man holding a boa constrictor in my classroom.
Today I went to a cross departmental seminar on Edward Said.
And this was the fourth occasion when I had been in a situation when I could not make myself speak. (Actually in my viva I did manage to start talking after five minutes of kindness from one of the examiners)
People around me were holding forth and Jackie gave me a cue to say something about BLOGS. But no, I stared silently ahead. Jackie would definitely have preferred to discuss Bourdieu but batted valiantly on. A Class Act as usual.
I felt totally dislocated in a setting which included English literature, history, sociology, politics and education scholars. I could not join in the conversation at all which was somehow framed in a paradigm which made me feel disempowered. All very odd.
Let me say though now, that I am not at all sure I am happy with Said's views on the role of the academic. Too much faith in the idea of the intellectual I feel; why does he believe that it is only in universities that critical thinking goes on?
But Luckily....
Kate's new shoes distracted me:
They are very chic indeed.
3 comments:
Joolz, I was wondering since you didn't actually say -what was it about the session that left you speechless?
oops, more again from me. you did say that education scholars were at the session so how was it framed that you, as an education scholar, could not contribute?
Hmmm. Yes this is puzzling me. I think it may have been because I felt disoriented in that kind of setting. It wasn't anything like a 'bad vibe' in the room. It was more, maybe, a sense of not knowing how my thoughts about Said connected with what people were saying. I couldn't 'join' my thoughts into everyone else's thoughts.
Were you there?
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